which was greivious to me that I should or be so tempted considering thy goodnes which I ever [professed] thinke. for I found it to weaken the of [weighing]foundation of my faith yea, to this present time that I now more resolved my selfe I was not free from such Atheisme is the maine desease of the soule Mr King L21 mistrust which I inwardly hate considering thy many mercies from time to time unto mee. for I find that this Athisme is the mother of all wickednesse for many for a faulse gaine for what will they not fear to doe who [stand] not in [Awe] of a diety fear not to doe any mischefe thereby ventering there bodies to the death and consider not the losse of their soules which precioussnes if they would thinke of might lead to confesse the truth of the diety and in what holinesse /and godlinesse\ of conversation we ought to live \pet 2.13/ But the foole hath said in his hart there is no God. and tho some which for shame would not be thought outwardly so simple, yet by workes they denie thee they are corrupt and become abominable in there doings psa 14 common reason will confute those foolish. but now I find my owne weaknesse and wickednesse brought to light for all the security I had of my faith in thee. But Lord what soule can bost or stay it selfe upon it is owne strength. I now neither know what temtations I am able to resist or what I am not. If I aske the whole Are there any among the vanities of the Gentiles that can give raine or caus the heavens to give showers: is it not thou O Lord our God. therefore we will wait upon thee for thou hast made all these things Jerem 14.22 u Cu 24 frame of the world conserning my God even these Answers and say by there figure and species it is God that hath made us and not wee our selves. \psal c.2/ Hee sitteth upon the circle of the earth and the inhabitats therof are as grashoppers he stretcheth out the heavens as a curtaine and spre\a/deth them out as a tent to dwell in \Isa 40.21.22/ Hee counteth the number of the Starrs and calleth them all by there he bringeth foorth there armies by number Isa 4.26 names by the greatnesse of his power and mighty strengh nothing faileth. Isa 4 psa 104 7. Hee watereth the mountaines from his chambers. and the earth is filled with the fruit of thy workes. Hee covereth* the heaven with clouds and prepareth raine for the earth. and maketh /causeth\ the grasse to grow for the catell. and Saint Aust - In another place he saith if these creatures be then silent. as having raised there atencions unto him that made them. then let him speake alone. not by [them] but by himselfe that wee may here his owne word ⁸⁶ or [I] the [law] of the Lord is perfite and so on psa 9. [?] herbe for the use of man. when I beholde these things I thinke with the psalmist Lord what is man that thou art mindfull of him and the sonne of man that thou visitest him \psa 8.4/ yea what is man that thou doest magnifie him and that thou settest thine heart upon him. and that doest visit him every morning. and triest him every moment \Job 7.17.18/ when I consider those things which I see and read in divers places \in/ of thy booke. I am amased for thou doest great things and unsearchable. yea marvilous things without number \Job 9.10/ yea more then* these thou hast not spared thine one sonne who tooke our fleshly nature (which is subject to infermities). what more marveilous. then that the devine nature which is most pure and quickeneth all things should cloth himselfe with our ( mortallcorrupt) flesh and suffer death for us. the death of the And tho I now know no reason but I should beleeve and doe beleeve. Yet Lord helpe my unbeleefe. I still find my want of love towards thee. I therefore desire of thee that faith without which it is unposble to please thee. wisdome to discover the best way. and love to thee to follow it. crosse and hath paid the det of our sinnes by puting out the hand writing that was against us \col 2.14/ and hath prepared a place in heaven for us what could be more meritorious surely had wee the knowledge and power of the blessed Angels yet could our [amends] be nothing correspondent to thy mercie and goodnes. And were all our members converted into tongues yet should wee never extoll thee for thy great love extend[ed] gratiously of thy meere goodnes towards us S Austins divers- praires sufficiently enough| ⁸⁷ I have (many times) much marveiled that thou shouldest set thy love upon so sinfull corruptable a creature as man. but I have considered thy goodnes is the more manifest. for thy power is made perfect through weakenesse \II cor 12.9/ and the more cause wee have to glorifie thee when wee consider our owne seeing wee know these things in what care ought we to serve thee in holy conversation and Godly nesse ii pet. 3 [vilenes] and unworthines suffer me yet Lord to verify thy power and goodnes. that I may be strengththened in thee. for it is not sildome that I have found* this sin of Athisme lurking in me. and tho somtimes I have bin satisfied in thy truth against it. as I have bine in other farr lesse matters for I have found I am neither able to conceive good [nor] long as against some kind of apparel and musike and church cerimonies which I have bin satisfied in and after somtimes douted I beseech to forgive mee when I have don these things and not of faith retaine it. without thy assistance*. therefore say my God (I beseeche thee) what thou art unto mee. say unto my soule that thou art my or salvationhealth many times I have bine driven by naturall reason to beleeve in thee. or the law of nature by which I perceive verified the word of God by the successe of all things according to it. for the Gentiles which have \know/ not the law. doe by nature the things contained in the law. they shew* the effect of the law written in there harts. there consience also bearing S August: In Ep o holy spirit alwayes inspire me with holy workes [conserve] me that I may doe. counsell mee that I may love thee, conferme mee that I may holde thee. conserne me that I may not lose thee witnesse. and there thoughts accusing one another or excusing \Rom 2.15/ as when a body doth commit any hainous fault there is a griping in his conscience which is a strong