so great that yet I knew I should be well againe I could not altogether hid it but that it would be visible, though I could not sertainly tell what. I thought my selfe well: and therefore that I would keep myselfe therefore where I was but I thought againe I might be glad to goe home that I might be amongst my frinds. who I thought would bare with my infermities. and there I might live privatly. for I liked home the better for being abroad, though I liked Lon-don well while I was there, neither had I cause to mislike any thing he was the better pleased because he saw me content with diet or any thing my uncle being a good man and kind to me as my cosens were: and all places I thought would be indifferent to me if my Father. Brother. and Sister had bine their with mee. I forbare to mention those that came to me in the way of Marriage because I had no desire they should. \yet/ I was troubled with one more then any who was comended by a Neighbour. and to make himselfe sure he told me my father was willing. but I spake to him as if I would know my fathers mind my selfe before any. and so thought farely to put him off divers times avoiding his company when I thought he would come; till at last my uncle writing to my father had an answere that he should not come. there fore he desired him to keepe away and not com to his house; in this time I made \wrot/ a gorget read in historicall meditations Now the time of the yere drew on in which my father would have me home. he and my Sister being somtimes not well. I had a properous \journy/* with Mrs Dodson whom I tooke along with me comming speedily home where I found my frinds well and as joyfull to see me as I was them. I was so troubled with the toothake that I thought I should have bine wild but after it sweled and mended I made me a white dressing and I preserved and redd in the shedperd callender or thought fit for me for I said it was like a sheapards cote. he answered if it were a tarbox ⁶¹ it were good in-nough. a while after I found some misse of the company which I had at London. withall leaving to learn that which before I did. yet I passcified my selfe finding this place fitter to inrich* my soule then adorne my body. for my God through the joy which thou gavest me I had true content. and I had a busiy head inventing for the most part somthing to imploy my selfe with ether working or reading. Now my father provided me a winter garment which I disliked because it was not so hansome as I would. yet afterwards I considered with my selfe and told him as I remember to this effect that I was sorry that I was not pleased with those clouths which he gave me. also I refered me* after to have what clouths he thought best to provid for me. which was better then I desired.* for I cared not to follow the extremity of fashions to set foorth my selfe. because thou Lord hadest given me enough to be content and not to be proud. also I tooke great delight in being my owne servant. to take my rest and to rise without the helpe of leaving that to my sister which had more neede any to dresse me and somtimes riseing to see what the Servants did they not expecting me| though not \so/ often \as I should/* I began my cutworke hanckearch at this time my selfe and my sister rose betimes to ride abroad in the coa\c/h a mornings to take the aire. the 20 yeere the spring came on and the beauty of the flowers agreeing with my fancy invited me to worke them which I never learnt to doe. my uncle daughter with whom J was being married came she seemed to mislike of our liveing so solitary but my sister \and/* and I talked as if those that thought so did not know the Sweetnesse of a privat liffe which thou O Blessed Lord madest it to us, at this time our olde Servant Mary Ashwell was to marry away. and I tooke into my owne \the/ keeping of those things which belonged to the kitchen* which she before would have had me kept being weary of her office) which I performed with more ease and as much or more profit. and though my father after my coming from London gave me not charge to keepe or looke to things of the house as before he had don. (for I suppose he thought to mach me) yet to fulfill my Sisters desire, and that things might be for the best. and my father have no lose I over saw and many times did things which else would not have bin don. without me, though I did not desire too burthen my selfe much with my worldly bisines (for I delighted not so much in it) yet this I praise my God I did out of an upright \mind/ not geting any thinge to my selfe (or giving away much but what I thought he would be willing thought I had never so much need my father keeping me short. I suppose that I might have had the more mind to marry. but I thought, my mind should not be a slave to my body for I could forcast to have for my nesassity and I cared