shew mee the place I then brought the Booke to her or andwho read the psalme. Now my mother let me keepe some bookes of hers. whereof one was called Christian praiers and meditations. which pleased me so well that I used almost every day to writ somthing out of it (for some part of this yeere and the next) likewise I joyned to my after noones devotion somtimes praying out of it. otheres whiles out of the suplicacion of Saints and other bookes as after pleased me. not tieing my selfe alwaies to one the 12 yeerePraireBooke for I found that viriaty quickened my Spirites. being not so much driven away as when I used alwaies one form of praier. \also/ for I found that in one booke which I thought I most needed. and somtimes \that/ in another booke which I most desired. and I suppose my Granmother found this benefet who had her dayly change as she thought best. amongst which she \used/* Christian praires and medita- which was my great Granfather Ishams. which he marked in many places that he liked. she shewing it mee and withall comending what a kind father inlaw he was to her: since I have bine very glad to meete with these places and somthing else of his owne writing yea it doth much rejoyce mee to aplie theses places for my owne use and to tred in the selfe same stepes towards heaven wherein my forefathers have walked. \for/ thou art my God and the God of my fathers: it may be some may think this devotion not so fit for me. because I was a child and they in yeeres. for most of those things which I liked. was of the hapines of everlasting life. and Med-itations of death, yet I never remember that good was amisse but profitable to me at any time thought I \am/ tempted I may die the sooner. but for my life I have trusted in thee O Lord. thou art my God. and knowest what is best for mee. it is of thy goodnes and mercie which hast suffered me thus long to live, and still to increase in the knowledge of thee. which I trust shalbe to my greater hapines hereafter and that through the merites of my blessed Saviour, herein I praise thee my God for all those accations whereby I have bin or sturredanimated to doe thee service. as for the good example I had of others. and for the knowledge that thou gavest me of thy power. whereby I feared thee. for as thou art a father good. gracious. and mercifull. to alure us to thee. so art thou also a Lord and revenger to punish them which will not obay. yet this danger I have found [in] my selfe [more] then when I was little so content with faith by reason when indeed faith is above it for S Aus saith our faith*/ who will not feare thy great and fearfull Name. \psa 99.3/ this maner of feare I remember by myself at these times. to often I confesse I served \rather/ out of feare of punishment to my selfe. or that I might had and to aske those thing[s] which may most please thee and be for thy glory. as [now of] praise thou hast given me grace to doe, have the life of my friends. who were often sickly. or to receive some benifite, which was a servell kind of feare. and not so much for thine owne sake to fear. and serve thee for love love as I ought to have done. yet as thy goodnes increased towardes mee thou gavest me a hart to praise thee. when at the first sight of thy scriptures, wee /being\ little ones of good hope. please our selves with that which is a wonderfull deepnes, because wee give way rather to "reason which is afterwards faith" which is most secure. then to our fraile "as it were in the bosome of a mother our faith is hollowely nursed up and confermed in the beeleefe that God made all these natures which in admirable variety there eye behodeth round about them [Aust] B.12 c19 . ⁵⁵ my brother now ill of an ague reason". yet this benefit; wee have comming to yeeres, by a better judgment to desearne those things which before wee did not. even of the truth it selfe. that wee liveing thereafter might endevour to make our waies more perfitt. being a Child I served thee my God out of a good intention. being ignorante of those things which now I know better. then my service was more verball, but now more cordiall. my understanding and affections being stronger, and although thou hast increased strenth in my soule. yet I deplore my owne weaknes of faith and love towards thee, I find my enemie most busie to assalt me. when any thing seemes contrary to my owne nature. but thou O Lord God art my refuge to whom I praye both for my selfe and them which are neere unto mee being assured to doe the better but howsoever it please thee to deale with me or them I desire that I may not offende thee nor once shrinke backe from thee in the least maner but submitt my selfe to thee as an obedient Child to so gracious a father;