And though* this summer following seemed to promise to me pleasure and futer worldly happinesse. and I was carried in that airy regon of thinking of it which campany and musicke helpe me forword in. yet afterwards the winter of adversity came on. and my soule began to lage. afflictions like inundations of waters entered into my soul the 21 yere like to drowne me. but thou Lord art above the waters floods so that and did cutwork my selfe I tooke much delight in my closet in reading Mr Smith sermons which was before I received at Ester; (and after) they should not overcome mee nether \that/ the deepe should swallow mee up \psa 6[0]9.14/

my father being spoken to for me, by divers in marriage, was most inclined to those neere and now especally one who was commended to him. whom he thought both for Religious breeding and estate to be a fit mach. he told me not of him afore I see him. who I thought was come about such an intent. and therefore I desired the honner \of/ God most and as I take it in the 24 yeere I desired Gods favour most readding in Davids repentance writen by Samuel Smith on the 5[1]. psal I began I\n/ my mind to take care how I should put him off. but I thought againe there might be a nough meanes for that. (at night my father talked with me to know my mind desireing I would be ruld by him. I told him I would, for I was the more moved to give way to his desire. because (I thought) his affection apeared rather then his authority to command: for afore he made meanes to know my mind by others \who/ perswading me I valiantly* withstood. desireing they would not talke to me of such matters.) yet now I thought my former mind was nothing and if \I/ had vowed without my fathers consent. much lesse having but desired therefore I learned a lettle on the v[er]gins and when I went abroad I gathered flowers and wrot them my S. [for B?] wrot dr[um?] and after steched her a han- I resined my will to my fathers. neverthelesse trusting in thee O Lord my God that thou wouldest doe for the best which way it pleased the\e/ and I thought my selfe safe in thus doeing. my father asked me how I liked the party I said I could not tell him how I should thereafter as he carried himselfe. Now as the I was troubled in my goeing forth this summer Mrs Alec [Alce?] used to read to me on mornings a chapter beginning the bible and so throughout fashion of the world in those parents which stand more upon worldly estate then love thereby hassarding the parties affections. so for this time which was almost a yere they many times seemed to breake it off. though my father I suppose was resolved what to doe, yeelding to them in what indifferent way might be for the best. withall askeing me divers times if I were willing it should goe forwards who Answered I was, for I could not well goe from that which I had yeeded to my fa-ther \[were]/for I supposed if I had said otherwise he would \have/ looked for a sufficient reason from me which I could not give to the contrary: for I was this summer wee had the good company of my uncle pagitt. with my cosen Justinian and my cosen Elizabeth pagitt for whose goodnesse I give thee my God immortal praise yet indifferent not being much aquanted with him which came to me. yet the winter coming on and company departing he had few to be with but my selfe, who kept him the more company because his only coming was to mee. so in time his company breed liking and liking love, and it was of thy onely goodnesse my God which gavest me such a care \how/ to carry my selfe. that I avoided those opertunities whereby he might \have/ moved me to that which I should have bine sorry for (or left him) but I was tender of my owne credite that if it brake off it might not be any prejudis to me for evill report as I was also of his love that it might not. In this winter my sister being ill fell one day into a swownd she being so long in it that t. my S began to be ill presently after christmas wee thought she would have died, yet after coming to her selfe againe (as I remember) she continued for 2 or 3 daies not speeking at all. and eating nothing or very litle. after she had a Phisitian who gave her a cordiall and as spelne plaster serups [illeg.] stomack[er?] and glisters other things. her speech cam againe [and] she was cheerefull, I siting up with her that night (and my Nurse) at twelve o clock at the night as the P said she would have she had another griveous fitt, and thus she continued being somtimes indifferent well and then falling into extremity of illnesse (divers times calling for my \father/ to see him.) I thinking